My fella acts so gay with his best pal

MY boyfriend is way too close to his best mate.

THREE’S A CROWD: Her fella and his best mate are oh-so close. Could they be gay lovers?

Could they be having a gay affair?

I thought their “bromance” was quite cute when we first got together.

I marvelled at how they always seemed to know what the other was thinking and finished each other’s sentences.

One night we went to a party and both turned up in exactly the same clothes, even though they hadn’t discussed their outfits in advance.

My fella and I have a really good relationship but I am left in no doubt that his mate is THE most important person in his life.

They still see each other every Wednesday and Friday night and Sunday lunchtime – and those dates are unbreakable. I wouldn’t even dare to suggest that he sees me then instead.

Often I catch them whispering and muttering in corners. I ask: “What’s up?” but I’m never told what they’re discussing.

I have never caught them out physically touching each other or doing anything intimate but there is definitely a very strong bond, one which scares and threatens me.

And I suspect I’m not the only person who finds their closeness a little weird.

Over Christmas and the New Year I was introduced to my man’s folks – they fell over themselves to make me welcome.

Yet I have since discovered that his mate is not welcome in their house and his mother visibly blanched the other day when I mentioned his name.

I’m not homophobic – I work with loads of gay people – but I need to know where I stand so I can protect myself. If I really do have a love rival in this other guy, I deserve to know what that means for me, don’t I?

JANE SAYS: You are fully entitled to ask your boyfriend about the true nature of his relationship with his mate.
He might not like it and he might not give you the reassurances or the answers you crave but you can certainly let him know that you often feel left out and way down the pecking order.
The fact is that all relationships are unique.

You entered into yours knowing that your boyfriend has a very strong bond with his best pal.
If you now consider his pal to be an obstacle to your happiness and an annoying third party, then be honest about that.

But I fear you may not get very far. I get the distinct impression this friendship goes way deeper than you even imagine. I’m not suggesting that it is necessarily sexual but they clearly have a lot of respect and affection for each other.

How many girlfriends did your guy date before you? How many other girls have been unwilling or unable to play the third party? It might be interesting to find out.
It’s not for you to break this friendship up, because it was on track long before you came on the scene.
But if you can’t live with things as they are, perhaps you need to find someone new who is fully prepared to commit to you alone.